"I don't know what to ask for."
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard this, I could retire. Here's the thing: You probably know more than you think. You just haven't organized that knowledge into negotiating power.
This chapter will change that. By the end, you'll have a clear picture of your worth and a toolkit that makes every negotiation easier.
The Preparation Advantage
Michael Jordan didn't become great by showing up and hoping for the best. He prepared relentlessly. Your negotiations deserve the same respect.
Here's the stunning truth: 80% of negotiation success happens before you open your mouth.
Yet most people spend more time choosing what to wear than preparing what to say.
Tom learned this the hard way. He walked into a salary negotiation "ready to wing it." He asked for $70,000. His colleague Jane prepared for a week. She asked for $85,000.
They both got exactly what they asked for.
The difference? Jane knew: - Industry salary ranges - The company's pay structure - Her specific value proposition - Exactly how to present her case
Fifteen thousand dollars for one week of preparation. That's a pretty good hourly rate.
Understanding Your Value Proposition
You are not your job title. You are the value you create.
Let's find your value with the VALUE method:
V - Victories: What have you achieved? A - Abilities: What can you do? L - Learning: How do you grow? U - Unique qualities: What makes you different? E - Energy: What passion do you bring?
Try This: Write five specific examples for each letter. Be detailed. Instead of "good communicator," write "reduced customer complaints by 40% through better email communication."
When Sandra did this exercise, she discovered she wasn't "just a receptionist." She was: - The person who remembered every client's name (relationship builder) - The one who streamlined the appointment system (process improver) - The employee who trained three new hires (mentor)
She used this clarity to negotiate a promotion to Office Manager with a 30% raise.
The 15-Minute Prep Sheet
Before any negotiation, fill out this prep sheet:
1. What do I want? Be specific. Not "more money" but "$75,000 salary with flexible Fridays."
2. Why do I deserve it? List concrete examples of value you've created.
3. What do they want? Put yourself in their shoes. What are their goals and constraints?
4. What's my BATNA? (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement - your Plan B)
5. What's my first ask? Start higher than your goal. You can always come down.
6. What can I offer? What can you give that costs you little but they value highly?
Print this and use it. It will transform your results.
Creating Your Negotiation Toolkit
Think of this as your negotiation emergency kit. Build it once, use it forever:
Your Success Stories File - Document every win, compliment, and achievement - Include specific numbers and outcomes - Update monthly
Your Market Research - Salary websites for your role - Industry reports - Competitor information - Economic trends
Your Scripts - Opening statements - Common objection responses - Graceful exit lines - Follow-up templates
Your Support Network - Mentors to call - Friends for practice runs - Online communities - Professional associations
Rebecca created her toolkit after losing out on a promotion. Six months later, she used it to negotiate a position at a competitor for 40% more money. "Having everything ready made me unstoppable," she said.
The Power of Specificity
Vague requests get vague results. Specific requests get specific results.
Weak: "I want a raise." Strong: "I'm seeking a salary adjustment to $82,000, reflecting my expanded responsibilities and the 23% increase in sales I've generated."
Weak: "I need more flexibility." Strong: "I'd like to work from home Tuesdays and Thursdays, which will let me eliminate my commute and add four productive hours to my week."
The more specific you are, the easier you make it for them to say yes.
Quantifying Your Worth
Numbers tell stories that words can't. Find yours:
Money you've made: Revenue generated, sales closed, grants won Money you've saved: Costs reduced, efficiency improvements, problems prevented Time you've saved: Processes streamlined, systems automated People you've helped: Customers served, team members trained, problems solved Growth you've created: New initiatives, expanded services, improved metrics
Jennifer thought she was "just doing her job" until she did the math: - Saved company $45,000 by negotiating vendor contracts - Reduced processing time by 30% with new system - Trained 12 employees, saving $20,000 in outside training
She walked into her review with numbers. She walked out with a promotion.
The Comparison Trap (And How to Avoid It)
"But Steve makes more than me!"
Comparing yourself to others is tempting but dangerous. Here's why:
1. You don't know their full story 2. It focuses on them, not your value 3. It can make you seem petty
Instead, use market data: "Based on my research, similar roles in our market pay between $70,000-$85,000. Given my experience and contributions, I believe $78,000 is appropriate."
This positions you as informed, not jealous.
Building Your Case
Think like a lawyer. You need:
Opening Statement: Your request and why it matters Evidence: Specific examples of value Precedent: Market rates or company history Closing Argument: Summary and next steps
Practice your case out loud. Record yourself. Does it sound convincing? Would you say yes?
The Research Advantage
Knowledge is power. Here's what to research:
About Them: - Recent company news - Financial performance - Strategic priorities - Decision-maker's background
About the Market: - Industry trends - Competitor practices - Economic factors - Regional differences
About the Process: - How decisions get made - Who needs to approve - Typical timelines - Company policies
When Alex researched his company before asking for a raise, he discovered they'd just won a major contract in his department. He timed his request perfectly and got 18% instead of the 10% he'd originally planned to request.
Handling the Confidence Gap
"But what if I'm not really worth it?"
You are. Here's how to believe it:
1. Document everything. Your Success Stories File is proof.
2. Practice with safe people. Negotiate with friends first.
3. Start small. Build confidence with low-stakes wins.
4. Remember your wins. Review your Victory Journal.
5. Focus on value, not personality. This isn't about being liked; it's about being valued.
Your Preparation Checklist
Before any negotiation:
□ Filled out my 15-Minute Prep Sheet □ Reviewed my Success Stories File □ Researched market rates □ Practiced my opening statement □ Identified my BATNA □ Set my first ask (higher than my goal) □ Prepared responses to likely objections □ Chosen my negotiation outfit (yes, this matters) □ Scheduled time afterward to decompress
Print this. Use it. Never walk in unprepared again.
The Week-Before Intensive
For important negotiations, start preparing a week early:
Day 7: Research and gather data Day 6: Fill out prep sheet and identify gaps Day 5: Practice with a friend Day 4: Refine your approach based on feedback Day 3: Do final research and updates Day 2: Rest and visualize success Day 1: Review everything and stay calm
This timeline has helped hundreds of my readers nail their negotiations.
1. Create your Success Stories File today. Write down three achievements with specific details.
2. Research your market value using three different sources. Know your numbers.
3. Fill out the prep sheet for an upcoming conversation, even a small one.
4. Practice your value proposition in the mirror until it feels natural.
5. Schedule preparation time for your next negotiation. Put it in your calendar now.
Remember: You can't negotiate effectively if you don't know your worth. But once you do? You become unstoppable.
Preparation isn't about memorizing scripts. It's about walking in so clear on your value that confidence radiates from every word.
You now have the mindset and the preparation. In Part 2, we'll add the techniques that turn this foundation into real results.
Get ready to master the art of negotiation, one conversation at a time.