Let's see how different people used this strategy to build rejection resilience and find real connections:
Noor's Systematic Campaign After relocating to Seattle, Noor committed to the 10-3-1 strategy:
Month 1: - 10 outreaches to people from running club and book club - 4 responses (better than expected!) - 1 developed into regular coffee meetings
Month 2: - 10 more outreaches, mixing professional and personal contacts - 2 responses (below average but she persisted) - 1 became her closest Seattle friend
The systematic approach removed emotional weight from individual rejections. "It's just math," Noor realized. "Not personal failure."
James's Post-Divorce Rebuild Freshly divorced at 41, James faced rebuilding his entire social life:
Week 1–2: 10 reaches to golf buddies for individual hangs - 3 positive responses - 1 became weekly breakfast partner
Week 3–4: 10 reaches to divorced dads group members - 3 responses - 1 developed into genuine friendship
Week 5–6: 10 reaches mixing old contacts and new acquaintances - 4 responses - 2 meaningful connections
The strategy helped James see rejection as filtering, not failure.
Ali's Digital Adaptation As a remote worker, Ali modified for online contexts: - 10 Discord/Slack DMs suggesting video coffee chats - 3 positive responses - 1 became accountability partner for climbing goals
The ratios held even in digital spaces, proving the strategy's universality.