Chapter 24

Common Obstacles & Solutions

1 min read

People face predictable TEP challenges:

"I have no time for friends" You don't need more time—you need better time usage. Look for: - Stackable activities (exercise + social) - Transition times (commute calls) - Micro-connections (15-minute coffee) - Aligned schedules (kids at same activities)

"I'm too exhausted for social plans" Stop scheduling social time when you're depleted. Instead: - Identify actual high-energy windows - Plan low-energy social activities - Build in recovery time - Say no to energy-drain invitations

"All my friends live too far away" Distance requires different strategies: - Create proximity anchors (regular locations) - Batch social time (monthly gatherings) - Use technology for maintenance - Build local connections gradually

"My constraints are worse than everyone else's" Maybe, but comparing constraints doesn't help. Focus on: - Working within YOUR reality - Finding others with similar constraints - Quality over quantity connections - Accepting your limitations without guilt

TEP-Smart Friendship Strategies

Based on your constraints, choose appropriate strategies:

Time-Constrained Strategies: - Calendar blocking for friend time - Recurring meetings (First Friday drinks) - Stacked activities (walk and talk) - Micro-dose connections (daily texts) - Seasonal intensity (more summer/less winter)

Energy-Constrained Strategies: - Low-key activities (coffee over clubbing) - Home-based hosting (less travel energy) - Parallel presence (working alongside friends) - Energy-matched friends (similar capacity) - Recovery-respecting schedules

Proximity-Constrained Strategies: - Neighborhood focus (ultra-local friends) - Virtual maintenance/in-person depth - Travel-efficient locations (meeting midway) - Event clustering (multiple friends, one trip) - Moving friendship (relocating together)