Let's map your actual TEP constraints and find your friendship feasibility zones:
The Time Audit Worksheet
Track your time for one typical week, categorizing each hour:
Fixed Obligations (non-negotiable): - Work hours (including commute) - Sleep and personal care - Family responsibilities - Health/medical needs - Household maintenance
Flexible Commitments (somewhat negotiable): - Exercise routines - Hobbies or personal projects - Extended family time - Professional development - Volunteer commitments
Discretionary Time (truly available): - Genuine free time - Low-energy recovery time - High-energy social time - Weekend availability - Evening availability
Calculate your realistic weekly social time budget. Most adults find 5-10 hours, including weekends. That's your time constraint reality.
The Energy Mapping Exercise
For one week, rate your energy (1-10) at different times: - Morning energy (6-9 AM) - Mid-morning energy (9-12 PM) - Lunch energy (12-2 PM) - Afternoon energy (2-5 PM) - Evening energy (5-8 PM) - Night energy (8-11 PM)
Note patterns: - When is your social energy highest? - Which days are most depleted? - How does work type affect social energy? - What activities drain vs. restore you? - How long does social recovery take?
This reveals when you're actually capable of meaningful connection versus forcing yourself to socialize while running on empty.
The Proximity Analysis
Map your regular locations and travel times:
Home Base: Your primary residence Work Location: Office, home office, or hybrid Regular Stops: Gym, grocery store, kids' activities Friend Locations: Where your current friends live/work Potential Spaces: Convenient meeting spots
Calculate realistic meeting zones: - 15-minute radius: Easy spontaneous meetings - 30-minute radius: Planned but convenient - 45+ minutes: Requires significant planning
Be honest about travel tolerance. If 30+ minutes feels like a burden, that's your constraint.
The TEP Integration Matrix
Now combine all three factors to find your friendship sweet spots:
High Feasibility Zones (All three factors align): - Times when you have energy AND availability - Locations within easy proximity - Activities that fit your constraints
Medium Feasibility Zones (Two factors work): - Good time/energy but challenging proximity - Close proximity but limited time - Available time but low energy
Low Feasibility Zones (Multiple constraints): - Far proximity + limited time - Low energy + inconvenient timing - All three factors challenged
Focus friendship efforts on high feasibility zones while accepting limitations in low zones.