The Five Friendship Zones framework provides language and structure for something we intuitively know: not all friendships are the same, and that's okay.
By understanding zones, you can: - Invest appropriately in each relationship - Set realistic expectations for yourself and others - Track relationship progression objectively - Build a balanced social portfolio - Navigate boundaries with clarity and kindness
In Chapter 3, we'll explore the three constraints shaping all adult friendships: Time, Energy, and Proximity. You'll learn to work within these real-world limitations to build the social life you want, not the one you think you should have.
For now, look at your zone map with fresh eyes. Each person in each zone serves a purpose. Your job isn't to move everyone to Zone 5—it's to build the right distribution for your life.
Your zones are your social ecosystem. Time to tend your garden intentionally.
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# Chapter 3: The TEP Triangle - Time, Energy, and Proximity
"I'd love to stay connected, but..."
James heard himself saying this phrase for the third time that week. At 41, recently divorced, he genuinely wanted to maintain friendships. But between shared custody schedules, a demanding job, and living 45 minutes from his old neighborhood, every social plan felt like solving a complex logistics puzzle.
He wasn't making excuses. He was drowning in constraints.
Sound familiar? Every adult friendship exists within three non-negotiable boundaries: Time, Energy, and Proximity. Ignore these constraints and you'll constantly feel like you're failing at friendship. Work within them, and you can build meaningful connections that actually fit your life.