"No."
Two letters that can feel like a punch to the gut.
But here's what changed my life: "No" is not the end of the negotiation. It's the beginning.
Every "no" contains information. Every objection reveals a path forward. Once you understand this, rejection becomes redirection.
Turning "No" Into "Not Yet"
Lisa wanted to transition from accounting to marketing. Her boss said no.
Old Lisa would have given up. New Lisa got curious.
"Help me understand what concerns you have about this transition?"
Her boss revealed three fears: department coverage, Lisa's lack of marketing experience, and budget constraints.
Lisa proposed a solution: She'd train her replacement, take online marketing courses on her own time, and transition gradually without additional salary initially.
Six months later, she was Marketing Manager.
The "no" wasn't really no. It was "not under those conditions."
The Aikido Approach to Resistance
In Aikido, you don't meet force with force. You redirect it.
Same in negotiation.
They push: "Your price is ridiculous." You redirect: "I can see this feels high to you. Help me understand your budget constraints."
They push: "We've never done it that way." You redirect: "You're right, this would be new. What concerns you most about trying it?"
They push: "I don't have time for this." You redirect: "I appreciate how busy you are. What if I could show you how this saves time?"
You're not fighting their energy. You're channeling it toward solution.
Dealing with Difficult People
Some people seem impossible. They're not. They're just scared, stressed, or stuck.
The Bully: Tries to intimidate - Stay calm and factual - Don't match their energy - Document everything - Set clear boundaries - "I want to find a solution. Yelling won't help us get there."
The Stone Wall: Gives nothing - Ask open-ended questions - Use silence strategically - Find their motivation - "What would need to change for this to work?"
The Victim: Everything's unfair - Acknowledge their feelings - Redirect to solutions - Stay focused on facts - "That sounds frustrating. What would help?"
The Know-It-All: Has all the answers - Let them talk first - Ask for their advice - Build on their ideas - "You clearly know this area well. What would you suggest?"
The Emotional Manipulator: Uses guilt or drama - Stay logical - Don't take the bait - Focus on the issue - "I understand you're upset. Let's focus on solving this."
Remember: Difficult behavior is usually fear in disguise.
The Most Common Objections (And How to Handle Them)
"It's too expensive" - "Compared to what?" - "Let's break down the value you're getting" - "What would make it feel worth it?" - "How much is solving this problem worth?"
"I don't have authority" - "Who would need to approve this?" - "What information do they need?" - "Can we include them in our next conversation?" - "What can you approve?"
"It's not the right time" - "When would be better?" - "What needs to happen first?" - "What's the cost of waiting?" - "Could we phase it in?"
"We tried that before" - "What was different about that situation?" - "What did you learn from that experience?" - "How could we avoid those problems?" - "What would make it work this time?"
"I need to think about it" - "Of course. What specifically concerns you?" - "What information would help?" - "When can we reconnect?" - "What's your decision process?"
Master these responses and you'll handle 80% of objections smoothly.
The Feel-Felt-Found Method
This classic technique works because it validates emotions while moving toward solutions:
Feel: "I understand how you feel..." Felt: "Others have felt the same way..." Found: "What they found was..."
Example: "I understand how you feel about the investment. Other clients have felt the same way initially. What they found was the ROI made it worthwhile within three months."
It's not manipulation. It's connection.
Questions That Dissolve Resistance
When you hit a wall, these questions create openings:
- "What would have to change for this to work?" - "If we could address [concern], would you be interested?" - "What part of this does make sense to you?" - "On a scale of 1-10, how interested are you? What would make it a 10?" - "If you were in my position, what would you do?"
These shift them from opponent to advisor.
The Objection Behind the Objection
People rarely voice their real concern first. Dig deeper.
Surface: "I can't afford it." Real Issue: "I'm afraid I'll waste money like last time."
Surface: "My spouse won't agree." Real Issue: "I don't want to look weak for needing help."
Surface: "The timing is bad." Real Issue: "I'm overwhelmed and scared of change."
When you address the real issue, surface objections often disappear.
The Strategic Pause
When they object, don't rush to respond. Pause. Count to three. Then speak.
This does four things: 1. Shows you're considering their point 2. Reduces emotional temperature 3. Often prompts them to say more 4. Gives you time to choose your response
Mark used this when a client said his coaching fees were too high. He paused. The client continued: "I mean, compared to my last coach who didn't deliver results."
Now Mark knew the real issue was trust, not price. He shared specific client success stories. Deal closed.
The Preemptive Strike
Address likely objections before they voice them:
"You might be wondering about the time commitment..." "I know budget is probably a concern..." "You're probably thinking this sounds too good to be true..."
This shows understanding and builds trust. Plus, when you voice their concern, it often seems smaller.
Turning Objections into Opportunities
Every objection is a chance to: - Understand them better - Build more value - Strengthen the relationship - Find creative solutions
When Carlos was selling his house, buyers objected to the price because it needed updates. Instead of dropping price, he offered a credit for renovations. Buyers got to customize; Carlos got his price.
Objection became opportunity.
The Objection Preparation Sheet
Before any negotiation, complete this:
Likely Objections: 1. Price is higher than expected 2. Need additional approval 3. Not the right time
Your Responses: 1. Highlight ROI and offer phased payment 2. Provide decision‑support materials and suggest joint meeting with approver 3. Explore phased rollout or pilot to mitigate timing
Questions to Ask: 1. What budget range did you have in mind? 2. Who else should be involved to move this forward? 3. What timing would feel comfortable on your side?
Value to Emphasize: 1. Long‑term cost savings 2. Team productivity gains 3. Low implementation risk
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Being prepared removes the sting from objections.
Recovery Strategies
Sometimes you'll fumble. Here's how to recover:
If you got defensive: "I apologize. Let me try that again. Your concern is valid."
If you talked too much: "I've been talking too much. What are your thoughts?"
If you pushed too hard: "I sense I'm being pushy. That's not my intent. What would be helpful?"
If you got emotional: "I need a brief pause to collect my thoughts. Can we take five minutes?"
Everyone makes mistakes. Recovery builds respect.
Your Objection Action Plan
1. List three common objections you face. Write strong responses.
2. Practice the Feel-Felt-Found method in a safe conversation.
3. Master the strategic pause. Use it three times this week.
4. Identify one "difficult person" in your life. Which type are they? Plan your approach.
5. Complete the Objection Preparation Sheet for your next negotiation.
Remember: Objections are not rejections. They're requests for more information, more trust, or more creativity.
When you handle objections with grace and skill, you transform resistance into partnership. You turn "no" into "know"—as in, "Now I know what you need."
Master this, and you'll never fear pushback again. You'll welcome it as the path to yes.
Next, we'll explore the ultimate power move in negotiation: knowing when to walk away. Because sometimes the best deal is no deal.