Option 1: The Starter Spreadsheet
Create a basic spreadsheet with these columns:
Essential Fields: - Name - Relationship Zone (1-5) - Last Contact Date - Next Contact Target - Contact Method Preference - Birthday - Location
Enhanced Fields: - Partner/Kids Names - Professional Context - Shared Interests - Important Life Events - Conversation Topics to Remember - Gift Ideas - Friendship Anniversary
Maintenance Formula: - Zone 5: Weekly contact minimum - Zone 4: Bi-weekly contact target - Zone 3: Monthly check-ins - Zone 2: Quarterly touchpoints - Zone 1: Annual acknowledgments
Option 2: The App-Based System
Several apps can function as Friendship CRMs:
Dex: Purpose-built personal CRM - Automatic reminder scheduling - Interaction logging - Notes and tags - Contact integration
Monica: Open-source personal CRM - Detailed relationship tracking - Gift and debt tracking - Activity logging - Family tree connections
Folk: Visual relationship manager - Kanban-style interface - Collaboration features - Email integration - Custom fields
Clay: AI-enhanced personal CRM - Automatic data enrichment - Social media integration - Smart reminders - Group organization
Option 3: The Notion/Airtable Build
For customization, build your own using Notion or Airtable:
Basic Structure: 1. Friends Database with all contact info 2. Interactions Log linked to friends 3. Calendar View for birthdays/reminders 4. Filtered Views by zone, domain, or maintenance need 5. Templates for different interaction types
Advanced Features: - Automation for reminder emails - Integration with calendar apps - Mobile-friendly interfaces - Shared pages for group planning - Analytics on relationship health
The Weekly Maintenance Ritual
Regardless of system, establish a weekly review:
The 20-Minute Sunday Session: 1. Review "overdue" connections (5 min) 2. Send 3-5 quick check-in messages (10 min) 3. Schedule one deeper connection for the week (3 min) 4. Update notes from previous week's interactions (2 min)
The Daily Micro-Practice: - Morning: Check CRM for today's birthdays or reminders - Evening: Log meaningful interactions from the day - Ongoing: Add new contacts immediately