The 3-2-1 Portfolio Model gives you permission to be selective and strategic about friendships. You're not trying to be friends with everyone—you're building a carefully curated support network.
By creating a balanced friendship portfolio, you: - Reduce social vulnerability to life changes - Ensure diverse perspectives and support types - Make strategic use of limited social energy - Build resilience against domain-specific losses - Create intentional rather than accidental friendships
In Chapter 5, we'll explore the practical skills of making first contact—how to transform strangers into acquaintances and begin building your portfolio strategically.
For now, assess your current portfolio honestly. Where are you over-invested? What domains are empty? Which relationships provide the best ROI?
Your friendship portfolio is one of your most valuable life assets. Time to manage it with the strategy it deserves.
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# Chapter 5: Making First Contact - From Stranger to Acquaintance
Rosa stood at the edge of the community garden volunteer orientation, holding her welcome packet like a shield. At 38, she could negotiate million-dollar marketing contracts and present to C-suite executives without breaking a sweat. But here, trying to start a conversation with a fellow volunteer about tomatoes, she felt like a teenager at their first school dance.
"Just go talk to someone," she told herself. But her feet remained planted. The skill of approaching strangers—something that came naturally at 22—had atrophied through years of existing friendships and structured work interactions.
She wasn't alone in her paralysis. Across the garden, three other new volunteers stood in similar isolation, all wanting connection but stuck in the modern adult's first contact dilemma: How do you start a conversation when there's no obvious reason to talk?