The TEP Triangle gives you permission to be realistic about friendship. You're not failing—you're navigating real constraints that everyone faces but few acknowledge.
By understanding your unique Time, Energy, and Proximity constraints, you can: - Stop feeling guilty about friendship limitations - Design connections that actually fit your life - Communicate boundaries without shame - Find friends with compatible constraints - Build sustainable rather than aspirational relationships
In Chapter 4, we'll explore the 3-2-1 Portfolio Model—how to strategically diversify your friendship investments across life domains within your TEP constraints.
For now, embrace your constraints. They're not obstacles to friendship—they're the design parameters for YOUR unique social life. Time to build something that actually works.
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# Chapter 4: The 3-2-1 Portfolio Model - Strategic Social Investment
Sam logged into LinkedIn and saw the announcement: another former colleague had become a VP somewhere impressive. At 32, Sam had over 500 LinkedIn connections, 800 Instagram followers, and belonged to three professional associations. Yet last month, when a family emergency required emotional support, Sam struggled to find anyone to really talk to.
"How can I know so many people but feel so alone?" Sam wondered, scrolling through endless acquaintances while craving just one real conversation.
The answer? Sam had built a friendship monoculture—hundreds of similar, surface-level professional connections with no strategic diversity. Like an investor putting everything into one volatile stock, Sam's social portfolio was dangerously unbalanced.