Understanding zones is powerful, but the real magic happens in applying this framework to real situations:
Rosa's Integration Challenge Rosa, 38, realized through her audit that she had different friends in each life domain but they all stayed in Zone 3. Her mom friends only talked about kids. Her work friends only discussed projects. Her college friends only reminisced online.
Using the zones framework, Rosa identified her goal: move 2-3 Zone 3 friends to Zone 4 by integrating them across life contexts. She invited a mom friend to a non-kid dinner. She shared a personal challenge with a trusted coworker. She scheduled a video call with a college friend to talk about current life, not just memories.
Within six months, two relationships had deepened to Zone 4. The framework helped her see that the issue wasn't meeting new people but deepening existing connections.
David's Zone 5 Vacancy David, our 45-year-old accountant, discovered he had no Zone 5 friends. His audit showed plenty of Zone 3 activity partners (golf buddies, pickleball friends) and a few Zone 4 friends, but no inner circle.
Rather than panic, David used the framework to set realistic expectations. He identified two Zone 4 friends with potential for deeper connection and began investing more intentionally—sharing more vulnerability, creating one-on-one time, and showing up during difficult moments.
He understood that Zone 5 friendships can't be forced or rushed. By being patient and intentional, one of those relationships naturally deepened over 18 months.
Sam's Zone Jumping Attempts Sam, 32, kept trying to jump people directly from Zone 2 to Zone 4, repeatedly facing disappointment when acquaintances didn't reciprocate the desire for close friendship.
The framework helped Sam understand relationship progression. Instead of forcing intimacy, Sam focused on moving select Zone 2 people to Zone 3 through shared activities. Some naturally progressed to Zone 4, others remained happy activity partners. Both outcomes were valuable.