We've been taught to think of relationships in binary terms: friend or not friend. This creates several problems:
Mismatched Expectations: We expect emotional support from activity partners or deep connection from casual acquaintances, leading to disappointment and relationship strain.
Investment Confusion: Without clear categories, we don't know where to invest our limited social energy. We might pour effort into relationships that will never deepen while neglecting ones with real potential.
Boundary Blur: The friend/not-friend binary doesn't capture relationship nuance. This leads to over-sharing with acquaintances or maintaining artificial distance with potential close friends.
Progress Invisibility: When all non-strangers are "friends," we can't track relationship development. Did that coworker become closer this year, or are you just seeing them more?
Traditional social advice ignores these distinctions. "Make friends" they say, as if all friendships are interchangeable. But you wouldn't use a butter knife to cut steak or a chainsaw to spread jam. Different relationship types serve different life functions.