Relationships require constant micro-decisions that affect long-term connection. Create systems that protect energy for what matters.
The Communication Framework
Response Time Standards - Partner/Family emergency: Immediately - Partner/Family non-urgent: Within 2 hours - Close friends: Within 24 hours - Acquaintances: Within 72 hours - Professional contacts: Within one week
Set expectations and stick to them.
The Social Energy Budget You have limited social energy. Allocate intentionally: - Partner/Family: 50% - Close friends: 30% - Extended network: 15% - New connections: 5%
When someone wants time, check your budget first.
The Relationship Investment Matrix
Quarterly review of relationships: - High effort, High reward: Increase investment - Low effort, High reward: Maintain happily - High effort, Low reward: Set boundaries - Low effort, Low reward: Natural distance
This prevents energy drain from imbalanced relationships.
Conflict Resolution Framework
When facing relationship decisions under conflict:
The 24-Hour Rule: Never make relationship decisions when emotionally activated
The Three Perspectives: 1. How do I see this? 2. How might they see this? 3. How would a neutral observer see this?
The Future Focus: "Will this matter in 5 years? If yes, address it. If no, let it go."