Marcus and Jennifer have been married for seven years. They love each other deeply, yet both secretly feel disconnected. Their evening routine has become predictable: sitting on the couch, ostensibly "spending time together" while both scroll through their individual phones. They're physically present but emotionally absent—what researchers call "continuous partial attention to relationships."
The statistics are heartbreaking: - 71% of Americans sleep with their phone within arm's reach - Couples who keep phones present during meals report 20% lower relationship satisfaction - Children of heavy phone users score significantly lower on emotional intelligence tests - 42% of young adults report feeling "left out" when friends use phones during social gatherings
Dr. Sherry Turkle from MIT documented what she calls "the rule of three": In group conversations, people keep phones visible until they see three others have done the same. We're all waiting for permission to be fully present, trapped in a prisoner's dilemma of distraction.
One study tracked couples' phone use and found that the mere presence of a phone—even face down, even on silent—reduced the depth of conversations and the level of empathetic concern partners showed each other. The devices don't need to ring or buzz; their potential for interruption is enough to keep us from fully engaging.